That feeling of comfort means more than just finding a priest who will get it over quickly or who, no matter what we confess, will say, “Two Our Fathers.” We want someone who will actually help us. In that regard, my suggestion is not so much on what kind of priest to choose as it is simply to choose one. It helps to have a regular confessor– particularly, as I suggested two weeks ago, if we go to confession frequently. With a regular confessor, each confession takes place in the context of our broader spiritual development. After all, most of us find that we continue to struggle with the same things over and over again. I find that I often start my confessions with something like, “Everything I said last time is true today.” Strange as it seems, though, that opening is not an opportunity to gloss over my confession. I then have a tendency to look more closely and reflect that I seem to have struggled more (or less) than usual with a particular sin during the past month. That allows my confessor, to help me to understand what leads to certain sins and what progress (however small) I am making.
Choosing a regular confessor is a big help, but we are still free to go to another priest under certain circumstances. For example, I always go to confession as part of my annual retreat. An occasional “new” priest gives us a fresh perspective and also helps us bring some new insights to our “regular” confessions.
My final note comes from my own reflection. I am a much better minister of God’s mercy when I myself have received it. I decided long ago that if I ever find that a certain priest does not go to confession himself, then I will not go to him for the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Father H
