I should probably have written about the Supreme Court decision concerning same-sex marriage a few weeks ago, but I wanted to take the time to reflect and pray. This issue has become so emotional. Proponents of this change have done a good job of framing the issue in the language of civil rights and thus of making those who disagree with them sound like bigots.
At a wedding liturgy, there is a “Nuptial Blessing” that comes right after the Lord’s Prayer. All of different choices for this blessing speak of the equal dignity and the complementarity of the two sexes, but one version has a line that always strikes me as powerful. It speaks of the relationship between man and woman as “the one blessing not forfeited by original sin nor washed away in the flood.” Marriage, then, is essential to who we are as humans, both individually and as a society, even in light of our failings.
As Americans, we often speak of our individual rights. But the basis of our nation is that these rights are seen as part of our larger society. The most basic unit of society is the family, where we learn to seek the good of others through daily sacrifices of our own interests. That atmosphere of love helps us struggle with our fallen human nature – the part in every one of us that is the result of original sin. In its ideal, the self-giving love of a husband and wife reaches the point where it can create new life through the birth of children. In reality, every human being falls short of perfect self-giving, but the ideal is still there as a challenge to ask God’s mercy and His grace to keep trying. Granted there are couples who are unable to have children. For them, too, the true vision of marriage can help them overcome their weakness and learn to give themselves completely. But if we redefine marriage in such a way as to put same-sex relationships on the same level as true marriage, then we undermine the very foundation of our whole society.
A related point comes up when others label us as bigots because of our views. We are reminded that Jesus welcomed everyone and turned no one away. I would never deny that, and I would never judge someone who is struggling with same-sex attraction. Similarly, I hope that no one would judge a priest who, honestly trying to live the Church’s teaching on celibacy, finds himself attracted to someone in a way he knows is not appropriate, a struggle that every honest priest goes through. But when we say that Jesus welcomed everyone, we have to recognize that an encounter with Christ never left anyone unchanged. People complained that He ate with tax collectors when he went to Zaccheus’ house, but Zaccheus vowed to give away his wealth and repay everyone he cheated four-fold. And when Christ met the woman caught in adultery, he did not simply tell her accusers, “Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” He also said to the woman herself, “Go, and from now on do not sin any more.” Christ welcomes us all, and he knows we will struggle. But he never stops challenging us to go beyond human values and become saints.
Father H
